Last Updated on April 23, 2022 by Ray
Being a new mom is challenging. Having your first child by birth or adoption is exciting, busy, and facilitates the most personal growth as any other single event in your life. At the same time that you may be mentally and physically exhausted, you can also feel exhilarated with this new phase of your life. Things can become even more challenging as people give you unsolicited advice or when you ask for help; you feel pressure to parent in a way that is contrary to your own budding instincts.
Mom Coaching Tips to Know Early & Be Prepared!
Here are 12 tips for new moms to learn early on:
1) Handle Yourself with the Same Tenderness You Do Your Baby
Motherhood, for many women, is a time of discovering just how much love and tenderness you’re capable of. But remember that some of that grace needs to be turned inwardly. Dealing with your new challenges can cause you to become disappointed with your performance or even unhappy with your own limitations. Take some of that love you have for your child and handle yourself with care. Recognize that there’s no such person as super-mom and that it’s okay to slow down your pace. Take a nap when you can, do a little self-care, and say nice things to yourself when you’re feeling down.
Related: How to Swaddle Transition [Like a Boss Mom]
2) Adjust Your Expectations
Social media and stories from your family and friends can have you setting unrealistic expectations of motherhood. The truth is, it’s unlikely that your body will immediately snap back into shape post-pregnancy, your baby may take months to sleep through the night, breastfeeding may have many challenges before it becomes a smooth process, and almost everything you try to do with baby will take loads more time than you think. While having a child is a beautiful experience, it doesn’t come without work, planning, and compromise.
3) Follow Your Gut
It will be helpful for you to develop and exercise your parental instincts as early as possible. When your baby cries, you may not know what to do at first, but you will experience an intuitive knowing at some point. Follow it. Well-meaning friends may try to persuade you differently because there is always conflicting information. So learn as much as you can, then follow your gut. You can’t parent well, relying on other people’s instincts. You must have your own. Some decisions are black and white, but most are a matter of your personal priorities and values.
4) Make Memories
It’s easy to get bogged down with the daily grind of having a family. It can begin to feel like the hardest job you’ve ever had. But if you stick with that way of thinking, that’s all parenting will ever be to you. Instead, see the potential in every day and every occasion to make beautiful memories for your family. It’s not a waste of time to lovely stare into your baby’s eyes or to take stroller walks. Try to find joy in every moment and stage of your parenthood, and be mindful that your child is forming memories – and so are you.
5) Find Friends
Like everything in life, motherhood is more fun with friends. Find other new moms with whom you can share your funny and sad stories and who will support you. Friendships with other moms can mean babysitting exchanges and playdates. Additionally, don’t be afraid to ask for help from others when things pile up. You can get help with meals, chores, and babysitting from trusted friends and family members.
6) Keep in Mind That Things Will Get Easier
Your first month with baby will feel long … really, really long. The next few months may feel the same, but soon things will get easier, and you’ll feel a little more in control. So, though you’ll have to deal with sleep deprivation, breastfeeding issues, colic, etc., you will eventually be able to manage things. Every stage of your child’s development will present challenges but know that no phase will last forever. It gets easier.
Related: Making Your Own Moby Wrap: Simple & Easy [No Sewing]
7) Don’t Tiptoe Around a Sleeping Baby
When you finally get your little darling to sleep, it’s tempting to make the whole world hush, so they stay that way. But don’t do it. The womb is a noisy environment, and your baby was accustomed to hearing sounds even while they slept. Of course, you shouldn’t make deliberate noises to disturb your baby’s sleep, but don’t be afraid to conduct regular life. They will learn to continue in a restful sleep while life happens around them.
Are you a parent looking for nurturing life coaching? We provide postpartum and family support to get you through the tough times. Check out Ray of Solace for more information.
8) Get Organized
If you’ve never been a very organized person before, this might be a good time to learn the skill. You will be surprised at the number of things you have to think about and deal with as a new mom. You will need to be organized – but do it your way. If making lists is your thing, then do that. If you make charts or use an online tool, then you should do that. Just use whatever system works for you to stay organized and prevent the overwhelm of tasks, appointments, errands, etc.
Keep enough of your baby supplies and household basics stocked in the house to avoid the need for emergency runs.
9) Help Baby to Bond with Dad or Non-Birthing Partner
Generally speaking, it may be easier for you to bond to baby than for your partner. But your baby will thrive if they have a bond with both parents. Ensure that your partner has plenty of alone time with the baby and practice skin-to-skin and other bonding practices. If necessary, help your partner to feel confident handling the baby, changing nappies, bathing, and helping with feeds if you aren’t breastfeeding. Resist the urge to ‘correct’ what they’re doing if it’s just different from your way.
Allowing the baby to be with people other than yourself is an excellent idea. The baby will benefit from having other loving people in their lives, and you’ll be able to enjoy date nights again.
10) Let Your Baby Lead
The stress of new mommy-hood is made much worse when you’re trying to establish a schedule and your baby isn’t cooperating. A schedule sounds great in theory, but your baby hasn’t read the same books you have. Feed your baby when they’re hungry, hold them when they cry, and love them tenderly every moment in between. Trying to fight the natural flow of baby-led parenting will increase your stress, but going with the flow will make you and your baby happier and healthier.
11) Your Little Human Thrives Off Physical Touch
Your baby’s needs go beyond feeding, sleeping, and diaper changes. Sometimes they’ll cry because they need to be held by you. This isn’t an unrealistic or manipulative desire. We know that even if you aren’t breastfeeding, skin-to-skin time is profoundly beneficial to the baby. It regulates their heart rates, temperature, and breathing. Research shows that cuddled babies cry less, sleep better, and may have better brain development. Benefits extend to you as well. Moms who take the time to cuddle their babies produce more relaxation hormones, experience less depression, and are more sensitive to their babies’ needs.
12) Resist the Comparison Trap
If social media were your only source of information, you’d think that giving birth and early motherhood is a breeze! Fortunately, we know better than to believe everything we see. Don’t compare yourself to other women and how you think they’re dealing with motherhood. Even if they aren’t struggling the same way you are, they are struggling in other areas. You’ll never be happy with your life (no matter how good it is) while you’re comparing yourself with someone else.
- Forget high fashion for a while and wear comfortable clothes.
- Learn the importance of saying no to constant requests for your time and energy.
- Read to your child every day. You’ll both love it.
- When you feel overwhelmed, give yourself a time out.
- Put down your phone. Your emails, text messages, and social media can wait. Your baby knows when you’re not paying attention to them.
- Take long walks.
- Take LOADS of pictures.
- Choose baby products carefully. Some will irritate your baby’s sensitive skin or trigger allergies.
- Don’t compare your baby’s development to someone else’s baby’s. Your baby will develop at its own pace.
- Go on and gush! Your baby is beautiful, and there’s no one else in the world just like them.
Related: 5 Signs You’re a Stressed Out Mom (+ Tips to Help)
What New Parents Need Most
Besides lots of patience, love, and humility, new parents need sleep. Many parents need to remember to take care of themselves. Get as many naps as possible, exhaustion and fatigue will set in, and we must not forget that our physical and mental health affects the baby’s well-being.
It is okay to accept all the help offered to you, especially as a new parent. Good advice and possible baby breaks throughout the week can help you enjoy life with your beautiful family. As you get used to being a new parent, you will find that flexibility is so essential. Things don’t usually go as planned, especially with children. Adapting to the situation is vital for all new parents or guardians.
Preparation can also be valuable for new parents. CHECK-LISTS! Feel free to write down notes or reminders you might need for tomorrow. Take a few minutes out of the end of the day to plan and organize for the next. Layout clothes, pack daily items like diapers and wipes in a convenient traveling bag. Inventory baby items, and make sure to restock as you use them. Before bed, remember to check your calendars for events and appointments so you don’t get behind in the week.
If we as new parents are well-rested and organized, we can better care for our children. Stocking and setting up for every day can actually make the day go much smoother so you can enjoy it together. It’s also good to have a traveling postpartum basket made up at home with all the essentials you might need for after-delivery care.
Having a baby is one of the most wonderful things to happen to you. Unfortunately, the wonderfulness can easily be overwhelmed by the challenges. But by adopting the above tips, you can go into parenthood with your eyes wide open and experience all the joy and growth it affords.
Are the demands of parenthood weighing you down? We’re here for you. We’re committed to helping you build a strong family and life. Check out Ray of Solace to learn more.